Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
