If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
