Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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