The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
