I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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