im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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