There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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