You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
