I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
