Sry I called you an 8
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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