3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
More tranny stories later!
She is in my trunk
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
