Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
