I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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