I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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