they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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