Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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