I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
