Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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