That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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