I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't think brook has ever known best
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
