The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i would punch a child for taco bell
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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