I'm jealous of your bromance
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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