Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Of course I have a pirate flag
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
