We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
