you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
