well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
