so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
