I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize