i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
