my soul wont recognize me after tonight
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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