you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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