i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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