obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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