she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
