She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's blow job season.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
