Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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