So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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