I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
