the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
