what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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