so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
