guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
