In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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