pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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