maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
