Already got asked if we're dating
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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