Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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