Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
