I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
