? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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