i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
