So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
